Dear Beta Male
Dear Beta Male,
I don’t know what took me so long to write you, I think the contemplation back and forth was that I didn’t know if you’d know I was really addressing you- you’ve always been the kind to avoid owning up to things… Then I battled with the thought of “ did I really want you to know I was addressing you”. A part of me feared you’d resort to some childish antics and attempt to humiliate me but then I thought to myself “ This letter is really for her” and she really needs to hear this - regardless of how you react.
She’s gotten used to holding herself back, because you’re intimidated by her and what she is capable of. You don’t want to give her your genuine support because of the fear that she will outshine you, you can’t stomach the thought that she could be more successful, than you because - you feel that makes you less of a man. Your goal in the relationship is to to make her need you….so you make her insecure- which masks your own insecurities. You’ve found a way to make all the good in her bad ,in her own eyes. You belittle her, you speak down to her, you force her to question her worth, and her self-love diminishes.
You’ve dragged her down to your level - perhaps even lower, and she allowed you because all great books and movies have taught her that “love is hard” and “love takes work” and you regurgitate it to her when she tries to leave and walk away. She cringes at the thought of starting over.. To maybe end up right back in the same spot with a different person because in her eyes, you’re the best she’s known .. And you “love her” - I've been in her shoes.
An alpha male once told me, that the universe has a way of terminating relationships and situations that aren’t in alignment with your goals, when you run away from terminating them yourself. Can I get a “PREACH”
I was quiet for a LONG time about an incident that happened almost three years ago, I don’t like to call myself a “victim” so for lack of a better word I “went through” a physical domestic abuse situation, with someone I NEVER thought I’d be at that place with at the tender age of 20. Long story short I dished the first hit out of pure anger, after finding out the not-so-surprising news that he was cheating on me ,and it all went downhill from there. Whether I was wrong, he was wrong or both were wrong, my trip to the ER, head scans , months of emotional distress, and hands down hitting probably THE lowest moment of my life at that point, should have been more than enough for me to make the decision to say good-bye forever.. Right? . Well that’s what happened at first. But I was so damaged from that relationship and the beta males before him that my insecurities, and diminished self worth and love coupled with my feeling of “needing him” somehow managed to convince me after a few months that the whole ordeal was in more ways my fault than his. I was that girl questioning her worth again .I was that girl buying into the notion that love is hard, wondering what I could have done different and essentially “ why wasn’t I enough”
If I could go back in time,as the woman I am today my beta males sensors would have rang off LONG before we even got to the point of throwing punches and wrestling. LONG before the back and forth that our broken and damaged relationship led us to. I would have walked away for good a lot sooner than I did and began loving on me and pursuing all of my ambition I was pushing to the background for someone who didn’t deserve to know me, yet alone have me in their corner.
So girlfriend, if you’re reading this and can relate to more than none of my story, I encourage you to evaluate your situation- and evaluate your self, KNOW yourself, chase your dreams ,never stop believing in how bad-ass and beautiful you are you are and ALWAYS clap for your damn self. Some of my greatest business accomplishments were right after that low point in my life . I launched my website and started my first online program all from my college apartment. No doubt this experience among many others made me a whole lot stronger and forced me to become the woman I am today , but I feel that I owe it to the young(or older) woman like me, who needs someone to wave the red flag for her, and assure her that downplaying herself for a man is NEVER the solution and NEVER okay.
Dear Beta Male, on behalf of all the Alpha Females, stay out of our way.